Today...

So I woke up with him lying next to me today...He and I were both nude under different blankets, close but so far apart. We broke up a week ago, we've managed to keep a pretty active sex life when we aren't arguing. It hurts, so much because I'm fighting a losing battle. I try to stay optimistic, and I try to show him how much I care for him but, none of that seems to be relevant to him.

*Giggles* So it's been a while. I haven't really been busy, just occupied. That guy and I that I blogged about before are still together and we're getting ready to move in together. Which means one of us(me) is moving to a different state. I'm excited, I was scared for a bit but, the closer I get to that date(May 8th or the 1st) the more that feeling disappears. About a month ago I had went to Cincinnati and stayed with him for a week. It was the best week ever. We did the usual couple things, went out to eat, movies, walks in the park/woods holding hands, and that other stuff..hehehe...We really meshed that week. We did get into a few lil spats but nothing big. However, since I left we have been having some really big arguments. I just think its out nerves about moving in together that's getting to us. I don't mean to make it sound like out relationship
has been all sunshine and candy canes; it hasn't been. It's been really tough these past few weeks, there's been tears and name calling, hurtful sarcasm, phones being hung-up in someones face. But in the long run it's going to be worth it; what doesn't kill us will only make us stronger.
So umm yea, I've never been a strong finisher so...bye!

I'm in a dream world.

So I'm finally in a good place. I'm talking to someone who I really care for, deeply. I've actually blogged about him before, so this is some what of a fairy tale for me. The crappy part is were in two different states. lol, which is no surprise to some of my close friends. They know how hard it is for me to find someone that I'm actually interested in here in my hometown.
So, yeah. He's different though, cliche I know, he makes me happy from miles away.
When I go to bed, I don't feel lonely, regardless of the fact that I am alone. In the post before this one I spoke a little about how I'm always playing the hero in my past relationships. This time he's my hero.

He's there when I need him to be. And although we have had a few arguments, well not really arguments; they were more misinterpretations; misunderstandings if you will, the connection we feel for each other never fades or yields.
I almost forgot how to feel like that for someone.

It's amazing how we almost fit together. Like two pieces of a puzzle.
He's what I want to be and more. He's smart, he's good looking, he's confident,
modest, sensitive(which he denies being) yet tough. He's my superman.
Yup...So I'm happy.

It's twenty09! New years resolutions anyone?

It's 2009 and I'm so relieved. 2008 was a really shitty year for me but, I'm not gonna dwell on those things any longer. Now, for the list!

Dherek's, 2009 to do list!

1. I really want to get in better shape this year, I have a nice body and all but, when it comes to my endurance and flexibility, I can use a lot of work!


2. I want to find a little more happiness within myself part of that is coming to terms with issues I'm dealing with in my personal life(more on that later).
3. Lately I've realized that I've been playing the "hero" role in all of my relationship. I meet a guy who has been in a really bad relationship in the past and has given up on love, I'd woo them they'd fall for me and I'd end up getting hurt because of all their insecurities there ex left them to deal with. That cycle has to stop this year.
4. And lastly, I'm going to stop trying to fix all of my friend's problems. I have a bad habit of trying to fix everyone, it's caused by my many years(2) of being a psych major.

So that's my list of resolutions, I'm really hoping I can stick with them. I've never been one to make any resolutions, I always felt like that was something older people did, I guess this will be fun.