Friday, June 17, 2011

How I feel his second.

Hurt! and I really have no reason to feel this way. Okay the full story. There's this boy I've known for 2+ years who back in March I bought a ticket to come stay with me because he was going through a bunch of bs that I didn't want my friend to go through. Before and after I bought the ticket we always flirted and talked a certain way which lead me to believe that when he got here to expect a certain interaction, I was wrong...he got here and it was like he didn't know me at all. And I dealt with that the best way I knew how, it may not have been how he may have felt I should bu,t it was what I knew to do. So he's here for over a month at this point and less than 24 hours away from leaving and I take him out for his last night here, and in the middle of the night he disappears...and so does this guy whose known as the "town hoe", lovingly of course(-_-). So I search them out and find them in the back seat of one of our friends car. Not doing anything at that point but who knows what did and could have happened. So I make a scene or whatever, we get back to my place and have a HUGE argument, (non-physical of course) and I put him out. Something I was advised to do from the the beginning. And to be 100% honest I didn't really want him to go, I just wanted him to settle down and not come at me the way he was, but that was a long shot. So he calls the cops they come and take him to the train station for him to wait 18+ hours for his train. I end up feeling bad and going to the train station, initially just to give him some money for food and what not but he looked so pathetic laying there on the floor sleep, so I ended up bring him back to my place until it was time for him to leave for good. He leaves, we don't talk for almost a month, and suddenly I see his name on my FB page posted by someone I introduced him to saying how much they love him and how great of a friend he is...and it KILLS because I've been nothing but real and genuine, to both of these people, and it feels like neither of them care for my existence. Which honestly shouldn't be that big of a issue because they do nothing for me but, still, when you open yourself up to wanting someone to be in your life and to have them shut you out completely, it hurts. And I don't know how to deal with this....

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